my fear? my faith?

mau mulai darimana yah... bingung...
yang pasti i've been through tough days...
mungkin juga karena guwe mau 'dapet' yak... T__T
jadi lebih emosional, lebih cepet bete, lebih cepet negative thinking...

first of all,
being a daugther of His is really difficult, yet worthy...
kita terus dicobai, disiksa, dan dianiaya...
berbagai macam cara penganiayaan yang terjadi dihidupkuw...

ever heard that FEAR and FAITH have the same meaning?
well, menurut Ed Cole, kutipan dari kotbah minggu kemaren
FAITH is believing what you cannot see will come to pass
FEAR is believing what you cannot see will come to pass
is that making any sense out of you?

it is indeed...
Faith itu menarik hal yang positif...
sedangkan Fear, menarik hal yang negatif...

misal'a kita punya Faith kalo kita bisa selamat main bunge jumping, here you go, you'll jump and you'll save...
tapi kalo kita punya FEAR terhadap bunge jumping itu, pasti kita mikir aneh" kan, ah ntar putus tali'a, ah ntar kepala kita kebentur bawah karena tali'a ngga elastis, ah ntar kita sakit jantung...

jadi kalo dibawa ke my problems...
i dont know what fear that im dealing with right now...
whether im afraid losing few people in my life?
or i just know some personality beyond my expectation, and i just cant handle it?

heard a story that character human being is absolutely amazingly created...
some people pretending they are so naive that they sometimes blocking reality...
some people nevertheless having this neverending fear...
some people, happened to have psychological trauma in the past, create another character in their personality...

bingung kan, sama...